they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize