and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize