Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
