He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
