the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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