theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
