I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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