Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
