3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
