I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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