This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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