i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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