Do you still have your period?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think your dad took our porno
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
