no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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