omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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