living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
