At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize