This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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