Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
