I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Your shirt... Was in my pants
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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