a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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