its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
