You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
