One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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