I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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