But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
