the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Randomize
