we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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