Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
