I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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