physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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