We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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