You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm at about main and main street
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
