bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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