you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
