Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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