I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
