I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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