also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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