Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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