butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
