Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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