I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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