My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
