if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize