i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
