She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
