is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
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