yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Dicks are not precious.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize