Can Purell be used as lube?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
