she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
