Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize