well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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