I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
