Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
