I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
