I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
