The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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