apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
