So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize