yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
