The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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