But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
